Social media: tool or pacifier?
In the early days of Covid19 (March 2020 in case you forgot) I started my "Captain's Log." It was a short video each day on my Instagram feed (not stories) that was a collection of random thoughts including Wellness Wednesdays and Fancy Fridays. The video would start with me saying "Captain's Log day <insert day number>>" and I would launch into the happenings of the day. Strolling through Patterson Park, dance parties on the roof with Rob and Camden, soup Sundays and weird musings...it was all there. It was fun, silly and my friends really liked it (at least they told me they did!) It was my own little newscast! I was using the videos as a tool to make folks laugh and connect in a way when we couldn't actually be together. The Captain's Logs served as a tool to share healthy insights and wellness ideas. It was a tool for entertainment and fun and one that I liked using.
Yet as the days grew into months and the pandemic continued I didn't find as much joy in doing the Captain's Logs. In some instances I was even dreading doing them and was procrastinating until the end of the day. Real talk: I was a damn fool and didn't think the pandemic would last so long. I figured I would be doing the Captain's Logs for 50ish days. It's hysterical to think how naive I was. But I hate giving up on things so I kept with the videos, even when I didn't enjoy it. Then I went camping for my birthday at the end of May and didn't have wifi or use my phone for three days. It was glorious! No social media or emails or Zoom meetings. All the things that had been tools I had to put down because they weren't very helpful in the woods. On the drive back to Baltimore, a lightbulb went off: this tool that I have been using, it wasn't serving me anymore.
A tool is something we use for a specific purpose / task. Different tools for different tasks, right? I use a broom to sweep my floors (mostly black Labrador fur) and when I am done I put it in the closet. When I'm done with the air fryer or immersion blender (my two favorite kitchen gadgets) I don't keep staring at them while I'm enjoying the food I finished making. They are tools for a purpose / task and when that purpose / task is completed it's time to move on. Yet, this doesn't seem to happen with social media. How many times have you been on social media and then poof 30 mins have gone by and you're looking at wedding pictures of your sorority sister's husband's cousin. WTF?! I don't know this person, why am I even doing this? What's the purpose / task here? From the yogic perspective, the question becomes "What's the intention?" We've all seen people using social media as a pacifier. A couple is at dinner "together" and they are each on their respective phone just mindlessly scrolling. A purpose would be to scan the QR code to look at the menu > order food > put the phones down and enjoy the company of others. Or maybe you've been in a room with friends and everyone is looking down at their phones watching cat videos rather than talking to each other. To be clear, animal videos are great and fun to share...just not at the expense of ignoring folks who are in the room with you. When we use social media like a pacifier, not a tool, we can feel isolated and disconnected.
When I stopped using Facebook and Instagram in May 2020, I had so much more time on my hands! Time for reading, walking, listening to podcasts and cooking. I was able to experience life and live it in 1st person. I found that when I was overly active on social media (read: mindless scrolling, not using it as a tool) it felt like I was living in the 3rd person, watching myself living my life and not really participating in it. There was a disconnect. I wasn't present, I wasn't really there. When I put down the tool I was able to connect to myself, to nature and do some deep soul searching. It was what I needed.
I loved being off social media but then in summer 2021 I got to thinking about what I was missing. I had always loved seeing my friends' travels, dogs, inspirational quotes, family milestones, etc. Friends would send me a screen shot of a meme as a text because they knew if they tagged me in it on social media I wouldn't see it. People would say, "You probably didn't see this since you're not on the Internet but..." Was I missing too much? Was I living under a rock? After journaling on this idea, I felt I was ready to return to social media. However, I knew I would have to do so with intention and establish boundaries (much like I did when I changed my relationship with alcohol...separate blog post on that!)
So now, in 2022 I'm asking myself the following questions: "How can I strike the balance of a healthy relationship with social media?" and "How can I be authentic and live my life in the 1st person while using social media as a tool, not a pacifier. " Discovering the answers to these questions is my new challenge and I'm totally up for it. I can use Pinterest as a tool for finding recipes, home decor ideas and vacation planning. I can use Facebook to sell items from my home that I am no longer using. I can use Instagram to share when I'm teaching yoga in a given week, or what essential oil will keep ants out of your kitchen (hint: it's peppermint). Social media can be a catalyst for conversation and a tool for connection, WHEN it is done with intention. Moving forward I'll limit my time on social media to 30 mins a day. And when that time is up, I'll put the tool away, for it has completed its purpose. I'll use social media as a tool, not a pacifier. What a beautiful challenge!
Questions for consideration:
1. How has social media impacted your relationship with friends, family and most importantly with yourself?
2. How do you engage with social media? For sharing, entertainment, researching, as a cure for boredom, etct?
3. Do you want to change your relationship to this tool?
I'd love to hear from you...and connect with intention.