Trading Halloween candy for positive affirmations
I'm THAT neighbor on Halloween. No, I'm not handing out dental floss and toothpaste (but I have considered it as my dad is a dentist and my mom is a dental educator) but I'm not handing out candy.
When trick-or-treaters cruise by my house they'll get something with a more lasting effect than a sugar high: positive affirmations
It all started in 2019, the year I stopped drinking. I became hyper aware of my choice to not drink in an American culture obsessed with drinking. This got me thinking about other "American values", like how we're obsessed with consumerism and sugar. In noticing each of these, I decided to stage mini rebellions by NOT doing the thing that the dominant culture wanted me to do.
So Halloween of 2019 I was looking to hand out something to trick-or-treaters other than candy. I knew it didn't want to do plastic toys as this wasn't an eco-friendly option. What's not sugar or future trash? Then it hit me: Positive Affirmations!
During the 1st 10 months in my booz-free journey I used affirmations myself. I saw the power of owning something and using it to cultivate a positive mindset. So I created about a dozen positive affirmations >> put them on one page >> made a bunch of copies >> cut out each one >> put it in the trick-or-treat bowl.
Then I waited. I posted up on the stoop with other neighbors, all of whom had candy. We had music, costumes and good vibes. The trick-or-treaters started coming down the block:
Here's what happened:
1. A few kids baulked. Asking, "you don't have any candy" with an eye roll. "Nope, but I do have a positive affirmation for you instead, would you like one?"
2. After their initial confusion wore off ("hey, this lady doesn't have any candy!) the kids picked affirmation and read it out loud to me, their parents or other folks close by. This pause, the reading > reflection provided me with a chance to engage. For younger kids learning to read or non-native English speakers, sounding out the words together was pretty neat. The pause encouraged them to learn something new and built trust.
3. Siblings or friends read the affirmations and then validated each other! There was this really sweet moment between a brother and sister (Batman and Wonder Woman) where he said, "That's so true, you are really hard working" and she reported back, "you are totally kind". They were able to own the affirmation and see it in each other. So damn special.
4. And then there's my favorite part. The parents! So many of them asked for an affirmation...for themselves, not their child. They read the affirmations out loud and took photos of them. I said "Keep it with you. Or put it in your car, wallet or mirror for when you need a reminder." That suggestion was well received. And the adult and their kid(s) each went to the next house, with a few slips of paper in their bags filled with candy.
And sure, I got a few weird looks. But I'm used to that. When you're living authentically, not everyone will understand you and your vibes aren't meant for everyone. I'm totally okay with that. So I'm not telling you to not hand out Halloween candy. In the same way that I wouldn't tell you to stop drinking or not get Botox. Those are decisions you have to come to on your own, based on your goals and values.
For me, this is an act of rebellion, my middle finger to the "man" who wants me to fall in line like all the other "nice girls" and do "what I'm supposed to" in certain situations. I'm still on the stoop handing out something on Halloween Eve...just not what the Capitalist system wants me to do. I'll participate, just on my own terms. I'll spread joy and kindness in my own way.
I rebel by not drinking when dominant culture tells me that it's cool to get hammered. I rebel by not getting / receiving Christmas gifts in a culture that tells me to buy more even when I already have enough. I rebel by honoring the natural aging practice rather than putting poison into my face for a smooth forehead. I rebel by handing out affirmations rather than sugar.
So my love, if you find yourself in the east Baltimore neighborhood of Canton this Halloween, come on by. I'll even let you pick 2 affirmations ;)