Sober Curious Journey: Year 7
2025 marks the start of my 7th year without booze! Just typing the number "7" and the words "without booze" nearly has me in tears with gratitude. It was January 2019 that everything, and I mean everything changed for me when I stopped drinking. The Sober Curious journey is one of devotion, empathy and compassion. It's one that I never thought I would be on and now I can't imagine not being on this path.
I cannot overstate this fact enough: not drinking is the single biggest and best thing I have done for myself mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. It's the most fantastic gift I have ever given or received.
The scene was a common one: I would wake up on any given Friday, Saturday or Sunday morning (and a handful of weekdays as well) with dread in my heart and a pulse in my head. I would open just one eye, roll over and wait to see how bad the hangover would be. And within minutes I would either feel a deeper dread (a worse hangover) or relief like I had dodged a bullet (the hangover wouldn't be as severe). My drinking and subsequent hangovers made it feel like I was playing Russian Roulette with my body and mind.
I was stealing my life from myself by drinking to excess. Sure, there were times that I was responsible and would drink in moderation. But there were a lot of times (too many to count) that I blacked out and the devastating hangovers followed. Like hugging the toilet bowl, not leaving the couch, emotionally drained until 5pm the next day sort of devastation. Yet because I drank from 2001 - December 2018, I was comfortable with this level of pain. So detaching from the pattern took intention. It took everything I had...and it was so very worth it.
When I stopped drinking, the lack of hangovers was the besttttttt gift. Yes, my skin, sleep and digestion improved (major wins to be sure!) but I felt like I was actually a participant in my own life again. Without the hangovers from booze, I could nourish myself with activities I love like standup paddleboarding, hiking with my dog, waking up for sunrise, running and reading. I gave myself the gift of my life, and it's the gift I continue to cherish.
6 years into this Sober Curious journey and I still get a jolt of joy waking up without a hangover. 6 years in and I still love going to live music and dancing my ass off without the need for "liquid courage." 6 years in and I am still totally stoked that I am living my life in alignment with my values. 6 years in and I still love this life that I am creating each day.
I'll be totally honest with you (because authenticity is of high value to me): occasionally I miss having a glass of wine with dinner. I miss the floaty buzz from champagne. But in no way do I miss the hangovers. I don't miss the feeling of regret that I might have done something foolish the night before. The fear and anxiety that the morning used to bring are totally gone now that booze isn't a part of my life. I am grateful to be more active and more intentional with my time. And it's from one decision, one change. Yes, going booze free was the hardest and scariest thing I have done in my life. It was also the most necessary and the most worthwhile. The ROI far exceeded my expectations.
When I started doing a Dry January in 2019 the N/A game was so different. There weren't mocktails on the menu in restaurants like there are now. I just ordered a tonic with lime, having to repeat myself to the bartender that no, I didn't want gin or vodka, just the tonic, thank you very much. Now there are whole brands, IG accounts and retailers like Hopscotch and Modern World devoted to Sober Curious living. Books, podcasts and writers (including yours truly) sing the praises of living a high vibe lifestyle without being weighed down by the effects of alcohol. The beverage options for those who don't drink are awesome right now. There's never been an easier time to NOT be drinking.
Yet, it's still hard to be Sober Curious, still a challenge to be a social human without booze. We still live in an American culture obsessed with drinking, obsessed with numbing out and dissociating. We villainize addiction yet alcohol brands frequent advertisers on TV. Song lyrics and movie plot lines glorify drunk behavior. As a woman, not having a drink in your hand prompts the question, "are you pregnant?" It is still a revolutionary act to NOT drink.
And THAT is why I love being booze-free! Because it's a rebellion to the dominant culture. Being a rebel at the start of year 7 feels so freaking good that I know there's no turning back, I know this is the lifestyle for me.
So if you're at the start of a Dry January, I see you, I feel you. Please reach out for help, you don't have to walk this path alone. Reach out to me (I'm a Health Coach!) or join a sobriety group and nourish yourself with wellness practices that support your "why" for going booze free. Sending you the biggest of hugs and highest of vibes for wherever you are on this journey: be it the start of year 7 or the 1st weekend of Dry January.