Constructive Rest: a reframing of naptime
In my adult life, I have never been a napper. My husband and sister love to nap. Me, I would rather power through any tired feelings and go to bed at 8:30 pm….after I make sure that allllllll the things are done. On Tuesdays and Thursdays I have been getting up at 4:55 am to take a BodyPump class at the gym before I teach yoga at 6:35 am. By the time I arrive home at 7:55 am I have already worked out and taught a class. It feels damn good! It feels good because I’m productive. And like many folks, I have worshiped at the shrine of productivity for a very long time.
That also means that by 3:00 pm, especially on a Thursday, I am tired. I beat myself up for this feeling, even getting annoyed with myself that I feel lethargic. I have no compassion for the tired feelings. I might low key berate myself for be lazy. After all, couldn’t I start a load a laundry, work on my IIN studies, plan an event or do 2 more tasks to prove that I am productive?
Until now! In the last month or two I have been examining my relationship with rest, production and honoring what I need. I have worked on reframing “lazy” to “Constructive Rest.” And you’re probably thinking, “Goodness gracious Shawn, just lay the F down.” It is hard for me to rest because for 38+ years my worth has been so closely tied to my production. And it’s not just me…our capitalist culture lives and thrives on how much we each can do, consume, buy or sell in a given time. The old narrative says “If I’m resting then I’m not producing or consuming so what good am I?” The new narrative is: “Rest is the gift I give to myself, it doesn’t need to be earned”
I need this rest, my body is actually hollering at me to take one hour out of the week to shut my eyes and just be. It doesn’t matter if I teach 10 yoga classes or 1 or none all. If I am tired, my body needs rest. Hard stop. Nothing is earned and no value is assigned. Rest Shawnie, just take the F’ing nap.
To hold myself accountable and create a behavioral change, I added my nap time to my calendar. Yup, it actually says “Constructive Rest” on Thursdays at 3:00 pm. If it’s on my calendar, it’s getting done (yessssss still that voice of production comes in.) It’s an appointment / meeting / promise to myself. This baby step of scheduling a nap is an act of self-care. To give a big ole middle finger to consumerism, I choose to rest. This compassion is an act of rebellion in a world that tells me to have a cup of coffee and power through to do more.
My rest is my resistance to the cult of productivity.
Do you take naps or do you power through feeling tired? Are you kind to yourself when you take a nap or judging yourself for needing it? Do you embrace this time or fight with the old narrative. I’d love to keep this discussion going as I feel it is one many folks are exploring. Please comment below, I welcome your thoughts.