Reflections from a month without Instagram
My relationship with social media, much like alcohol, has been complicated for years. I love it > I hate. It’s fun > it’s frustrating. I know when I have too much of it I feel like crap. I tend to not consume “media” in the traditional sense of newspapers, TV or radio but I’m on Facebook, IG and Pinterest regularly. I use What’s App and Marco Polo to chat with friends and Spotify has a social component for following artists, seeing when my favorite acts are touring and posting my yoga playlists. Twitter and TikTok aren’t never my jam (feels too frantic)
I have long since deleted the Facebook app on my phone, which makes Instagram my social media drug of choice. The memes of millennials, now in our 40’s, recalling moments in the 80’s, researching travel ideas, inspirational quotes, sunrise + sunset paddle pics, etc. I have a 30 mins time limit / day on IG but I will occasionally over ride it, adding more time up to about 60 mins. I recently saw the horrifying stat that Americans spend about 2.25 hours / day on social media. What in the actual F?!
One of many photos from October that I didn’t post IG. I sure do love the sunset / sunrise pic and I love to share them. Is is the possible to just look at the setting sun and appreciate it for what it is?
In September, I felt myself spending too much time on Instagram (like did I really need to be looking at black labrador videos when I was sitting next to my black labrador?!) and I knew I needed to take a break. It’s not my 1st time taking a break from Instagram (I did this in May 2020 for about 5 months when I noticed my mental health suffering) and it won’t be my last.
My intention for the break was this: to notice how I was spending my time, then to notice how it felt to be off social media and finally to see if this feeling was creating dissonance or harmony (to borrow vocabulary from my sound healing training) in my own vibrations.
I deeply believe that when we create space, a void, we have a powerful opportunity to notice the things around us and in us with better clarity. And so, here are a few things I learned / ideas that came to me during the Instagram break:
I have sooooooo much more time when I’m not scrolling (insert eye roll and “duh” here) Spending even 30 -60 mins a day on one social media app (or several as many folks do) is a lot of time, and it’s not always time well spent. But if I spend 30 mins on IG and then leave it, this tends to feel pretty good. Especially if I am creating and not consuming (see #4 below). Having more time is nice and being able to use it mindfully, that’s the real win.
I will miss out on things >> I love to be connected. Yes, it’s both, I can hold multiple truths, I’m a Gemini after all. And since I’m a Gemini, I love to communicate, share ideas and go down any new rabbit holes I can find.. IG is a way to share funny memes, connect over shared interests and participate in friends lives. FoMo is real and I missed out on wishing friends a happy birthday, events, childbirths, anniversaries, soup recipes, etc. Being connected to high vibes folks is something important to me and I work on this all the time, via social media, text and IRL. When missing the connection I would often get from IG, I would text a friend instead. Rather than commenting on a friend’s IG Story about her matcha latte or cool hiking trip, I can text her to plan a meet up for a matcha or hiking adventure. Intensify the connection with IRL hangouts, not just the easy “heart” or “thumbs up.” Missing out is a bummer and focusing on quality connection is critical to my joyful life.
I need to be on social media for marketing. As a yoga teacher, health coach, reiki practitioner and (soon to be!) sound healer, I need to be “out there” with my offerings. And I truly love to share these offerings and build community. Instagram is a great platform to do this. As one example: I had an event that was cancelled due to low sign-up and I couldn’t help but think, “damn if only I would have posted more about it, would I have had better attendance.” Good lesson learned! Getting the space to see what would happen and notice the reaction…really critical!
Creating vs Consuming: how much am I passively scrolling, allowing the algorithm to push me somewhere and how much of myself am I putting out for folks to interact with. I love to post book recommendations for example so perhaps I spend more time creating content around that and not getting caught in the search for random stuff I don’t actually need. I like to spend time creating a post or story, adding text and cool music, editing it so it’s something I would want to see. But when I (over)consume in a less intentional way, I feel that in my body. Without the consuming in October, I felt a bit lighter. But I did miss the creating and the sharing in the form of hyper-lapse sunset videos, Reframe Fridays, Sober Curious Circle, etc.
What is the purpose of social media? Is it to drive consumerism (no, actually I don’t need another pair of yoga leggings), to foster connection (yes, I love getting new mocktail recipes), to breed fear (I cannot stand the political circus our country has become)? I don’t think there is one answer and certainly this varies for each user. It’s an interesting consideration you might want to ponder. For me it’s connection so that is where I will focus my energy while living in the virtual space. A comment feels more nourishing than a “thumbs up” for example, it’s a more active form of participation. Engaging with people rather than just scrolllllllling for hours…its about intention.
Social media, just like food can be more filling / nutritious or it can leave use with a headache and feel grouchy. Before my social media break, If I was scrolling and came across a skinny, airbrushed / filtered 20-something twirling around in an overpriced dress I would have a negative thought: “Who does she think she is?”, “How does she have more followers than me when she’s has crappy photos”, “Is she selling something or just pretty until her hormones change in her 40’s?” It felt like "junk food” that might feel good at the moment of consumption but then 30 mins later my belly hurts. Now, I’m able to take a step back and notice my emotions (in this case anger, jealousy, lack mentality) and choose something that is more fulfilling / emotionally nutritious. This means that I will be doing a bunch of unfollowing / muting in IG.
What to do with the photos?! I love cloud videos, hiking photos, #soupsunday pictures / videos, etc. I love photography in general, finding the best light and composition, an interesting angle or a funny fruit that looks like something silly. To take a step back and just stare at the clouds, watch the yellow leaves falling from the trees at Loch Raven and make my soup to eat it, rather than to stage it for a photo was a good practice in awareness. I will still take photos but how much to share and when, that’s a continuing thought.
I had more conversations with strangers (some of you are laughing and thinking, “But Shawn, you talk to strangers all the time!” And you’re not wrong.) Waiting in line at the grocery store, boarding a flight, walking my dog, at restaurants or cafes, setting up my mat for a yoga classes, etc. Places where I would just mindlessly pick up my phone, “just to check” IG meant that I wasn’t looking humans in the eyes. It meant that I wasn’t building connections. When at a restaurant and my husband left the table to use the restroom, I would engage with the waiter when they refreshed my water. I would just look around at the cool art on the walls or actually eat my food. And yes, notice how many other people grabbed their phones immediately when suddenly alone at their own table. While in the security line at the airport I made funny faces as babies (they loved it, promise.) I complimented strangers on their attire, spoke to the grocery clerk about their day. Without seeking the quick hit of dopamine that IG supplied me, I was getting in touch with real souls. And that felt real good.
My dreams were more intense and my dream recall improved. To be sure, I have no way to correlate this to lack of social media specifically, but there is plenty of research about less screen time, especially in the evening improving sleep. I’m in bed no later than 9:30 and I try to disengage from my phone 30-45 mins before bedtime, but that doesn’t always work. So cutting the tie to social media right before my head hits the pillow certainly could mean more intense dreams. I have (gratefully!) been an active dreamer since childhood. I set an intention before going to sleep to remember my dreams. I ask for guidance which I received in my subconscious. Being off IG meant I wasn’t thinking about something else’s “reality” but rather I was tapping into and creating my own each and every night. If you’re interested in dream work and analysis, let me know, I love this stuff!
Mindfulness. Intention. Energy. These words came up again and again for me this past month while journaling about my non-IG time. When I am mindful of my energy and where it goes, my intention is more powerful. When my intention is strong, I am allowing my energy to flow to a mindful place, not just scrolling because I’m bored waiting in line. As a health coach and energy worker, I love the phrase, “where attention goes, energy flows” and this shift in attention + awareness was really really lovely. Like clouds in the sky, our attention and energy are shifting all the time. When we shift the attention and energy mindfully, not letting the algorithm carry us off, we bring light to the intention of creating a life where we are fully present. And that my friends, is the joy of living authentically.
Gosh I have a lot of thoughts! And I was able to have these thoughts and really sit and process them because I created the space, I let the void simply be there. Moving forward, maybe I do one day every week without IG. That way I am still present but it gives me some time to digest what I have consumed. Moving through any (and all) situations with intention and mindfulness, that’s what I aspire to do.
Have you done a social media fast / break? How did that turn out for you? Were you itching to get back to it? Maybe you never went back? I’d love to hear your perspective and keep this conversation rolling. Sending you the biggest of hugs and highest of vibes!